


Purpose

by orphan_account



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Post-Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23753956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "How long have we been here?" Penny whispers. "And how much longer are we going to be here? I...I lose track of the days. I don't want to be just stuck here forever. Sometimes I just get this...this feeling that...that there's nothing we can do anymore. That it would just be naive to think we could ever fix this and I...I don’t want to stick around any longer. Because there wouldn’t be a point. I...I just..." Penny sniffs, tears falling steadily down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I wasn't actually gonna do anything."
Relationships: Judy Robinson & Penny Robinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Purpose

“Penny? You okay?”

Judy had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and was heading back to bed when she saw Penny out of the corner of her eye in the kitchen.

This isn’t that unusual. Penny gets insomnia sometimes and isn’t able to fall asleep, so she gets up. Judy almost ignores her and goes back to bed, but there’s this eerie feeling settling in her stomach that something  _ isn’t right _ .

“Penny?”

Penny doesn’t respond. She’s hunched over the table, her back to her sister. Her breathing is jagged, sounding almost as if she’s crying, but she’s not.

“Penny,” Judy repeats. She walks up behind her sister, who still hasn’t moved or spoken at all. Her face is blank, staring intently at the object in her hands. As soon as Judy sees what she’s holding, her heart starts beating faster. She kneels down so that she’s at Penny’s eye level.

“Penny,” she says firmly. “Put down the knife.”

After a second, it clatters to the floor. Penny blinks, shakes her head, as if she was in a trance. Slowly, her hands reach up to cover her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

The knife’s handle is warm, but the blade is dry, to Judy’s relief. She puts it back and returns to the table. Penny’s face is still blank. Her eyes refuse to meet her sister’s.

God, Judy doesn’t know what to do. She’s never seen her like this.

“Let’s go sit on the couch,” she suggests finally.

Penny nods.

They sit in silence for a long time. They can hear the waves crashing gently on the shore, the faint sound of Don’s snoring from down the hall. It’s so quiet and calm and dark and cozy, and if it weren’t for what had just happened a few minutes ago, it would have probably been incredibly peaceful.

Finally, Judy asks softly, “are you okay?”

Penny doesn’t answer right away. She shifts in her seat, facing Judy but still not looking her in the eye. “No,” she says carefully. She plays with the fringe on the blanket and swallows.

Judy doesn’t really know how to reply. She’s a doctor, she should know what to do with a situation such as this, but this isn’t a stranger, this is her little sister. Somehow that makes it harder.

The silence weighs heavy on the air around them for no more than five minutes, but it feels like an eternity.

This time, it’s Penny that breaks the silence.

"How long have we been here?" she whispers. "And how much longer are we going to be here? I...I lose track of the days. I don't want to be just stuck here forever. Sometimes I just get this...this feeling that...that there's nothing we can do anymore. That it would just be naive to think we could ever fix this and I...I don’t want to stick around any longer. Because there wouldn’t be a point. I...I just..." Penny sniffs, tears falling steadily down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I wasn't actually gonna do anything."

“Can...Can I see your arms?”

Penny pauses, then pulls up her sleeves to show Judy. “They’re old,” she says. “I haven’t...they’re from a long time ago.” Unexpectedly, Penny lets out a sob. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I...I promise I wasn’t actually going to do it, I just sometimes get...get, like...scared.”

Judy moves over and pulls Penny in a tight hug. “It’s okay,” she soothes, wiping the hair out of Penny’s eyes, “shhh. It’s gonna be okay. Listen. We’re gonna talk to Mom in the morning, okay? We’re gonna get you help. It’s gonna be okay.”

Penny doesn’t quite believe that yet, but she trusts Judy.

_ Maybe it will. _


End file.
